Life is all about relationships. Let's think about it. We only exist because some people existed before us, and before, and before…
We can only thrive if we have people in our lives—family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. We meet and interact with people everywhere and every day.
Some encounters are fleeting. Just a smile, hello, hug, handshake, and we never see them again. Some are in our lives for a season. Some stick around for a long time.
Life is all about relationships, so we must be wise about who we allow into our hearts as building blocks.
There are some relationships we cannot choose. Our children are our responsibility. We must nurture, care, and provide for them unconditionally until they are ready as adults between the ages of 18–21 to navigate the world on their own. It is very important that we teach and arm them with proper life skills so they can be good at relationships themselves.
We must also be good role models for all children. Those passive relationships are crucially important—those children we don't even know but who are watching us in our immediate communities, and all around the world, in some cases.
We must be conscious of the fact that all children need as many good adult role models as possible.
Now, how about the adult relationships we have? Adults are no longer children. They must now be acting as adults. That means being responsible for their own thoughts, actions, and general behavior.
Let me tell you a very bitter truth. You cannot change any adult. Yes, you heard that right.
You cannot change someone above the age of 18–21 who is already fully molded into an adult.
From that age group onward, people only change if they want to change themselves.
Once we are adults, we are solely responsible for ourselves. What we allow into our own hearts and souls, how we act, our choices, our behaviors, our attitudes are our own responsibility.
More so, how we let the people we allow into our hearts and souls affect us are also our sole responsibility. People can only make you feel bad if you allow them to. They can only affect your life if you allow them to. We teach other people how to treat us. If you permit other people to treat your badly, they will continue to behave badly toward you.
Relationships are our building blocks. We must choose whom we allow into our hearts and souls, as they could build us up or tear us down.
Have you ever given deep thought to this? That maybe the reason for your being stuck, feeling dejected, not feeling good enough, not being able to live your dreams is because of the company you keep?
Your friends, your work colleagues, some family members, and (this last one is tough for all of us to hear) your spouse or life partner may be the reason for your inertia, apathy, sadness, and hopelessness in life.
We become like the people we spend our time with.
If you allow negative elements into your soul for long enough, you will become negative or just become stuck, confused, or apathetic.
If someone tells you long enough you are not good enough, you will eventually believe it.
If you hear why you shouldn't start that project, life passion, or big idea for long enough, you will never fulfill your life purpose.
If someone gossips about others to you for long enough, they will draw you into their negativity. (And you can be very sure they are gossiping about you to others as well.)
If a friend cannot be there for you during your ups and downs, during your successes, as you are there for them during theirs, that is not a valuable relationship.
Again, the people we associate with are our building blocks. If you want a solid life, a life without all the extra confusion, the extra bitterness, without being in the feeling-stuck and apathetic modes, reevaluate the building blocks in your life.
A solid life that brings you joy, peace, and fulfillment and brings out the authentic you requires building blocks that are solid, positive, and steadfast.
We each choose whom to allow into our lives. No one chooses your life for you. No one can. Only you are responsible for you.
You owe yourself peace, joy, and happiness.
If you have flimsy and negative building blocks shoring up your heart and soul and life, you will continue to fall, falter, and fail at living out your ultimate life purpose.
Some of us give every possible reason for holding on to negative relationships, and we wonder why our lives don't work, why we just can't use our gifts to birth that project, why we just don't feel free and purposeful.
It's often because of the people influences that are insidiously seeping into our souls, and we don't even know it until our entire lives have passed by us, and we've wasted it all away because we couldn't break free and protect ourselves.
In the past 10 years or so, I've become very mindful of whom I allow around me and who seeps into my heart and soul. This awareness has been a life and game changer for me. My life has been so much better, and I've been able to hear God's voice clearer.
Are the human influences around you muffling God's voice in your life?
Are you so entwined with the human building blocks that you can't even decipher God's calling for you?
It may be time for you to take inventory of all the human building blocks involved in your daily life, connect deeply with yourself and to God, and then examine your life, and be honest with yourself.
It may be time to let go of the flimsy, negative, and weak building blocks in your life and replace them with strong, supportive, positive, and steadfast building blocks, and watch your life totally turn around.
All it takes is self-trust, courage, and faith.
Relationships are the foundation of our lives. Choose them wisely.