Oprah did not become Oprah overnight. Barack Obama did not become President Obama in one week. Their journeys to success took time. Yours will take time too. Be patient!
If you’re middle-aged like I am, you’ve probably come to the brutal realization that good things do take time to come to fruition. Sometimes, a really long time! And you’ve also fully realized that time is very precious. You wake up one day, you’re 25; and the next day, you’re 50.
So those two realizations teach us two lessons:
1. Stop putting off your dreams. Start today.
2. Enjoy every moment, every day, every single aspect of your journey in life.
One thing I know is, you’ll never feel 100 percent ready to start anything, whether it’s opening a new business, changing jobs, writing a book, starting a blog or a podcast, leaving a bad relationship, or getting married. You will never feel 100 percent equipped or qualified to start or to take that first step.
My advice to you is, if that plan/dream/goal/life change is stuck in your mind, if you find yourself thinking about it day and night, if it’s waking you up and keeping you up, then you need to just go for it. It’s not going to depart from your mind, so you might as well start the process of launching it—whatever it is.
Start to research the idea, read about it, find one to three experts—paid or unpaid—in the field you need help with, to help you through the process, and just get it going.
May I repeat? One to three experts in the beginning! Not five, not ten. Not family members. Not your spouse. Not your work colleagues. Not your barber or the grocery store check-out lady.
Why not my spouse? Why not my mom or my dad? Some of you are probably questioning what I just said! Okay, Okay…yes, I meant it. Not your spouse, not family members, unless they happen to be experts in that field. Why? Because our spouses and family often make decisions for us based on anecdotal evidence and not on concrete evidence. Guidance from our loved ones tends to be emotional and fear based, and this is the last thing we need when we’re trying to launch or take a big step forward.
Of course you should discuss ideas with your spouse as a family. But be ready to stick to your decision and gently let your spouse know, this is your dream and you want to get it started, and you have a plan in place, and you would appreciate their support. A spouse who truly loves you will support your dreams and goals and will even make them their own…and they will savor the journey with you as well.
Unfortunately, I have heard too many stories from people, mostly women, who feel they have abandoned their life goals and dreams because their spouse said it was a bad idea and refused to offer support. Even though their spouse was not an expert in the field, they took that advice, dumped their dream, and have carried resentment and regret around for years.
Don’t let this be you. Don’t allow anyone to kill your dreams. Do not dump your dreams because of anyone. Keep going with it. Give it your all.
Do your research, pray about it, get one to three experts who have been successful in that field and have evidence to show you, stop procrastinating, and start the process today. Then, once you take the leap, be very patient while you’re working hard. Anything worth having in life, anything of potentially high value in your life, will take time. There’s no point rushing to get things done. There is no overnight success. Those super-successful people you see on the internet every day did not get there overnight. It took sweat, resilience, hard work, and lots of persistence.
Everything will happen in its own time. All that is required of us is hard work, dedication, faith, and patience.
And of course, clarity of what you want. You need to be clear and precise about what you’re trying to achieve. After you’ve done the needed research, write down your goals clearly in your journal. If someone wakes you up from a slumber and asks you why you’re pursuing that dream, you should be able to run down a list of your intended objectives of the plan you’re working on.
And I do hope your objective is not only to make money. I do hope there’s an objective in there somewhere of making your life and others’ lives more meaningful, more fulfilling, calmer, and more peaceful. Any goal or dream that only has the objective of making money will eventually not contribute anything to your core growth or your real purpose in life. I have several examples in my own life about how good things do take a long time.
First of all, medical school is not for the fainthearted. It took six years of lots and lots of hard work. (It takes eight years here in the US.) Then there’s three years of residency. And I had to do residency in two countries—in the UK and then the US.
I wrote two book manuscripts at the end of 2015 through early 2016. I sent the first manuscript to literary agents in 2016 and ultimately decided to self-published it in May 2017. Permanent Happiness has garnered excellent reviews from readers and book reviewers. The second is yet to be published. And this is end of 2019. Remember I wrote it in 2016!
I had the desire to have women’s conferences in 2017 after I released my book and started getting tons of messages from young women. I realized young women were so hungry for answers to questions about life. I had the first one in September 2019. Two years after! It didn’t happen overnight.
I really wanted to open my own practice after residency in 2001. It didn’t happen till October 2004. It required time. It took lots of reading and research about how to open a medical practice, tons of planning, meetings with experts, build out of the space, relentless marketing, etc. It was worth every effort though. It’s still open after 15 years, is profitable, has served the disadvantaged kids in Atlanta, has provided employment for people, and is now a highly valued enterprise!
If I had listened to some family and friends and even some doctors who told me it was a bad idea to open my own practice, I wouldn’t be able to share this story with you today. Most people told me I should just get an employed position and not venture into practice ownership. They all said most practices collapse and shut down within two to five years, and I would regret it. Well, here I am today.
I shut those voices out, looked for doctors who had successful practices, and found one in particular who was heaven sent. He supported and mentored me through the process. I also hired a medical management company and delegated some of the initial logistics with opening the practice to them.
So good things take time!
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Patience is a virtue.
Good things come to those who wait.
There are so many sayings about patience, and they are all true!
Patience applies to other aspects of our lives—not just our professional lives but even our personal lives.
Stop rushing that relationship. Stop chasing him. Stop calling and texting him every minute. Allow him to prove his love to you. Sit in your femininity and your value. Be patient.
Stop rushing that weight loss. Stop starving yourself. Be intentional about your food choices. Make sustained dietary changes. Exercise daily. Be patient.
As we countdown to the end of 2019 and look to 2020, a new year and a new decade, let patience be at the forefront of everything you embark upon. However, you must let procrastination out the window first and allow it to fly away permanently. Then allow clarity, faith, and resilience to fly into your life through the window, and patience to come in right after them. Then shut the window and take the first step to start enjoying the journey to your success. And give thanks every day during the journey.
See you on the blog next month with traveling experiences to keep you inspired!
Dr. Iyabo
